Fear.

False Evidence Appearing Real.

This shouldn’t be a long post as we all might have listened to several motivational talks about confronting your fears. We are being told everyday by almost everyone, DO IT AFRAID!

Recently, one of my nieces, I call her Dr T/TT made a video that explained this matter. She mentioned in the video how she asked her Dad 'Why did God say we shouldn’t fear but says we should fear Him?' I’m sure a number of us would have similar question. And like the father explained to her, fear is of two types: Negative and Positive. The one we have of God is the Positive one - Reverence.

While negative fear is what that makes you feel incapacitated, like there’s nothing you can do about a given situation. However, there are 1001 different things you can do when fear faces you.

The 1 thing you can do is run while the other 1000 things are to face and conquer it. Like we may have heard, courage is not the absence of fear but the triumph over it. Nelson Mandela added to that quote saying, ‘The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear' (try reading that in the voice of the legend NM, it will sink in).

Fear is normal and this post is not to show you how you conquer it, because many times, it comes in different shades and sizes and what worked for the last fear won’t work for the new one - it’s just like malaria and malaria drugs

There are several times I’ve been afraid that I pray that the ground should open and swallow me or my recent adventure when I’m afraid, I pray this prayer, 'Oh Lord, can angel Gabriel or someone blow the trumpet already?'

Funny enough, I can’t recall many of those experiences again because all I have in my head is the amazing results I have from conquering the fear. Truth be told, if you are faced with fear, it means you have something big in front of you that your mind is trying to tell you you don’t deserve. This should be your DRIVE.

I’m currently faced with a fear. Two fears actually and they are very personal. Sometimes it feels like my essence is being threatened when I ponder on them.

One of it started while I was in my previous place of employment. I worked there for a couple of years. Then it got to a point that I started to fear that I might lose my job any moment from then. It was a heavy fear that lingered every morning I wake and preparing to head to work.

Over the years, I came to understand that there's nothing wrong in losing but I didn't replace that mentality with something else; 'when you lose, can it be replaced' and how can it be replaced? I don't know if you get my drift?

Losing is one thing. Regaining is another.

Realising this, fear came in, and you remember I wrote there are two? Well, one day, pondering on these two fears coupled with a sad news, I had a panic attack. True story. My spirit was overwhelmed and eager to go for a stroll. I can only say, thank God for His Word - For God has not given me the spirit of fear but of Power, Love, and Sound Mind. Especially that SOUND MIND. It helped calm me and grateful for friends like Pere, who will unknowingly send some YouTube message links for me to listen/watch.

One thing was clear and I knew it but failed to practice it. Whatever you focus on magnifies. Like these issues are very tiny matters but pondering over them through the months magnified it and made it look big and overwhelming and unconquerable.

But that’s a blatant lie! I know now. The solution existed before the problem, my Pastor would always tell us.

I may not have recovered fully from it, but the size of it is getting smaller that I tried out some things afraid and it came out well (I was typing out the details but my fear is telling me how valid it is - so I’m gonna pass).

As my God will have it, knowing that He doesn't want this His babe to get distracted, something I applied for long time ago, I have even forgotten I applied, sent me an acceptance mail just last week. And that same time frame, my boss BBM reached out to start a Writers' hub.

And I’m like… what da heck?! Where were you all all this while?

Well, I have come to understand that what we fear most is what builds us to be better. If you keep running from it, you won’t grow. For fear is like a wall, you either break it and continue your journey or you turn back and never give it a try and remain stagnant.

Lovelies, remember, several walls are before you, don't get comfortable breaking just one. Keep breaking! It's allowed.

Please don’t forget to CLAP and give your feedback/comments on my Thoughts. Your feedback is my Muse.